7 Things No One Told You About Being Neurodivergent In Your 20s

Being in your 20s is often painted as a time of freedom, excitement, and “figuring it all out.” But the reality is usually much more complicated, especially if you’re neurodivergent.

This phase of life comes with a lot of pressure to launch into adulthood smoothly, but for many young adults, it’s a time filled with self-doubt, social confusion, and emotional overload.

Here are some of the things no one really tells you about being neurodivergent in your 20s:

1. You might feel lonelier than you expected.

Even if you’re surrounded by people—at school, at work, online—you might still feel deeply disconnected. Friendships shift. People get busy. Socializing feels different. If you’re neurodivergent, you may find that it’s harder to connect in the ways you want to, or that being around people drains your energy faster than it does for others.

2. Your brain doesn’t magically finish developing the second you turn 18.

Executive functioning, emotional regulation, impulse control—these are still works in progress well into your 20s (especially for neurodivergent folks). You’re not behind. You’re still growing.

3. More people go to therapy than you might have been led to believe.

Talking to a therapist or joining a group is increasingly common and can be incredibly helpful. You don’t need a crisis to get support.

4. You’re allowed to need structure and support, even as an “adult.”

Struggling with time management, transitions, or burnout doesn’t make you lazy or incapable. The world isn’t always designed for neurodivergent nervous systems, and it’s okay to create scaffolding for yourself.

5. Masking is exhausting—and you might not even realize how much you’re doing it.

Trying to pass as neurotypical can lead to chronic stress, anxiety, and burnout. You might find yourself drained after social situations or unsure of who you are underneath the “version” you show to others.

6. It’s okay to opt out of things that don’t work for your brain.

Not everyone thrives in large lecture halls, loud social settings, or traditional 9–5 jobs. Your path might look different…and that’s not a failure. It’s actually a strength to know your needs and advocate for them.

7. You’re not the only one feeling overwhelmed by the transition to adulthood.

Social media makes it seem like everyone else is doing great, but many people in their 20s feel lost, anxious, or out of sync (especially if they’re neurodivergent). You're not alone in this, even if it feels like you are.

Final Thoughts

No one tells you how disorienting it can be to navigate your 20s as a neurodivergent young adult, but you’re not broken, behind, or alone. You are learning to live in a world that wasn’t designed with your brain in mind, and that takes strength, creativity, and a lot of self-compassion.

If you're craving support, connection, and a space to be fully yourself, our Virtual Young Adult Therapy Group might be a helpful next step! We also have several individual therapists who specialize in working with neurodivergent young adults and college students. Contact us today to schedule a free 15-minute call with our intake coordinator to learn more!