Why I Cried Throughout ‘Toy Story 5’

I expected to spend two hours watching a movie with my kids.

Instead, I spent much of the film trying not to cry.

As a millennial mom, I grew up on Toy Story. In fact, Toy Story 2 may have been the first movie I ever saw in a theater. I was five years old, but for years after, my dad and I would listen to "When She Loved Me," in the car with both of us tearing up over Jessie and the heartbreak of being left behind when her kid, Emily, grew up.

Twenty-eight years later, I sat in a theater again and cried through almost the entire movie.

A quick warning before I go further: there are real spoilers ahead, so if you haven't seen it yet, stop here.

A Therapist’s Take on Toy Story 5

Toy Story 5 picks up with Jessie as the main character, and Bonnie is now eight years old.

As the mom of an eight-year-old and the founder of a therapy practice that works with children this age, I was pulled in by Bonnie immediately. She still loves her toys, but she is shy, anxious about making friends, and struggling to find her place socially.

Hoping to help, Bonnie's parents buy her an iPad because that is what all the other kids seem to have. Before long, she is spending time with a group of girls who also have iPads. The girls turn out to be mean, and they begin bullying her.

Watching Bonnie navigate those friendships was difficult because it felt so real. In my work, we regularly meet children who have been bullied, excluded, or convinced that they need to become someone else in order to fit in. Sometimes the signs are obvious. Other times, children slowly pull away from the things they love, become quieter versions of themselves, or work hard to be the person they think others want them to be.

At its core, this movie is about friendship. More specifically, it is about finding the right friendship.

The toys spend much of the movie searching for someone who will be a good match for Bonnie. When they finally find her, they orchestrate an elaborate meeting between the two girls. Watching that friendship begin was one of the most meaningful parts of the movie for me. Helping children build the skills and confidence to connect with peers is exactly what we do in our practice. Seeing the toys I grew up with become the reason Bonnie found her person was surprisingly emotional.

The Storyline That Stayed With Me

But the storyline that stayed with me most was Jessie's.

When we first met Jessie in Toy Story 2, she carried the pain of being left behind by Emily. In Toy Story 5, Bonnie is growing up too, and Jessie can see it happening. She recognizes the signs. She knows where the story could be headed.

There are flashbacks to her time with Emily throughout the film, and every time "When She Loved Me" began to play, I found myself crying all over again.

Then comes the moment that made me cry the hardest.

Jessie returns to the tree where she and Emily used to play. Carved into the trunk are the words, "Jessie was here."

Nearby, she discovers something buried in the ground. After digging it up, the toys find a lunchbox filled with keepsakes. Among them is a photograph of Emily as an adult with her daughter.

Written on the back is the little girl's name:

Jessie.

Emily named her daughter after her.

For years, Jessie believed she had been forgotten. Instead, she discovers that she remained such an important part of Emily's life that Emily chose to carry her memory into the next generation.

I got chills watching that scene.

As therapists, we are often only one chapter in someone's story. We rarely get to see what happens years later. We do not always know which conversations stayed with someone, which moments mattered, or what they carry with them after therapy ends.

Watching Jessie discover what she meant to Emily made me think about that. It also made me think about parents, teachers, coaches, relatives, and friends. So many people leave a mark on us and never fully know the impact they had.

For years, Jessie believed she had been forgotten. Instead, she learned that she had helped shape who Emily became.

I left the theater thinking about how often that might be true in our own lives. We may not always get to see the impact we have on other people. Sometimes we never know.

The relationships that shape us are not always the ones that last forever. Sometimes they are simply the ones that arrive when we need them most.

It was a beautiful movie, and if you haven’t seen it yet (sorry about the spoilers!) run, don’t walk to go see this movie. 

Sara Schreiber is the founder and owner of Collaborative Minds Psychotherapy LLC, which specializes in helping children, teens and adults with social issues, anxiety, depression, trauma, and general life stressors. Sara has specialized training and expertise in group therapy and trains therapists around the world in starting and running therapy groups. To schedule an appointment at Collaborative Minds, visit www.collaborativeminds.net.