When The Holidays Feel Complicated: Balancing Food, Fasting, and Recovery
As the High Holidays approach each year, I often hear a familiar mix of emotions from the people I work with. There’s excitement about family gatherings, a deep sense of spiritual renewal, and pride in traditions passed down through generations. But for many of my Jewish clients (and, truthfully, for anyone who has wrestled with food or body image), the upcoming holidays and fast days also stir up something else: anxiety.
In my work as a therapist, I’ve had the privilege of walking alongside many Jewish individuals who navigate the unique intersection of faith, tradition, and struggles with food. What I’ve learned is that these holidays, as beautiful and sacred as they are, can feel complicated when you have a poor relationship with food and your body.
The Tension Around Fasting
For someone struggling with disordered eating or negative body image, a fast day is rarely “just one day.” It can reawaken old patterns of restriction, guilt, or obsessive thoughts about food. Many of these individuals end up fighting an internal battle as they struggle to balance enjoying the traditions of the holidays, fulfilling their religious obligations, and fighting a deep-seated fear of losing control or moving backwards in recovery.
This is where compassion and nuance matter. Judaism teaches that preserving life and health comes before nearly everything else. For some, that may mean eating and drinking on a fast day–without shame, without judgment, and without it being a reflection of their spiritual worth. For others, it may mean consulting both a rabbi and a medical provider to find a safe path forward. What’s consistent is that no one should have to face this alone.
When Food Is Part of the Celebration
Even outside of the fasts, holiday meals themselves can be triggering. The apples and honey, the challah, the festive dishes, which serve as beautiful symbols of sweetness and blessing, can also bring stress if you’ve spent years cycling through diets or fearing certain foods. Add in well-meaning (or not-so-well-meaning) family comments about bodies and plates, and it can easily result in feeling triggered or overwhelmed.
It’s important to remember that eating during the holidays isn’t a weakness—it’s a mitzvah. The purpose of Rosh Hashanah and Sukkot meals isn’t to test your willpower; it’s to connect with Hashem, with family, and with tradition. You don’t need to “earn” your food by fasting longer, skipping meals the next day, or exercising it off.
A Few Gentle Tools
For those who know the season may be hard, here are a few strategies that can help:
Give yourself permission to prioritize health and recovery, even if that looks different from those around you.
Plan ahead for potentially triggering meals and conversations. Sometimes that means rehearsing a boundary-setting phrase or having a supportive friend on call.
Anchor yourself in meaning. Holidays are about teshuvah, connection, and renewal—not calories or food rules.
Remember: you are not alone. Many in your community quietly share these struggles, even if they don’t talk about them.
Holding Both Truths
The High Holidays invite us to reflect not only on who we’ve been, but who we’re becoming. If you’re struggling with food and body image this season, it doesn’t mean you’re failing in your religious or spiritual life. It means you’re human, and you’re navigating a very real challenge with courage.
As someone who has been there and now helps others to heal, I believe recovery itself is a holy act. Taking care of the body Hashem has given you is not separate from avodah—it is avodah.
May this year bring sweetness, compassion, and peace not only to your table, but to your relationship with yourself.
